Suzanne Degges-White – Toxic Friendships: Knowing the Rules and Dealing with the Friends Who Break Them

In their enormously helpful and nuanced book,  Toxic Friendships, Suzanne Degges-White and Judy Pochel Van Tieghem go way beyond “mean girl” and “frenemy” stereotypes to elucidate the unspoken rules of friendship and lay out how we can effectively manage the inevitable hurt and disappointment that comes with vitally important social connections. The authors’ exploration of potentially toxic friendship environments, such as the office and children’s athletic teams, further enriches the reader’s understanding of friendship’s many complications.
Carlin Flora, author of  Friendfluence

As a professional who works with friends and knows the value of friendships to my mental health, I have experienced the pain of mending and ending friendships. I wish I read  Toxic Friendships  years ago so I could have better navigated these relationships for both my sanity and success. This book is a must read for women regardless of age and stage of life.
—  Marcia Reynolds, PsyD, author of  Wander Woman  and  The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs

Good friends and healthy friendships are crucial to women’s well-being at every stage of life. But what happens when a friendship turns toxic? When a friend becomes hurtful or mistreats another? When a friend abandons another in a time of need? Here, Suzanne Degges-White and Judy Pochel Van Tieghem explore such toxic friendships and how women navigate the ups and downs, as well as how broken friendships can be mended and bad friendships ended.

Explaining and illustrating the “rules of friendship” at various stages of life, the authors reveal what it takes to be a good friend, how to identify bad friends, and how to move forward when friendships turn sour. Vignettes of toxic friendship behaviors are shared, as well as tips on how best to respond to these rule-breaking friends in order to rebuild damaged relationships and repair a friendship’s foundation (when appropriate) and how to decide when it’s time to let go of a relationship that is bringing you down versus keeping you afloat. Information for parents is also provided, to aid them as they help their daughters navigate their friendships. We all need friends, but knowing when and how to let go can help us all be better friends–to ourselves, and also to others.